Heaven! Love! Freedom! Silly, such dreams!

We live in the world we used to cringe at the very thought of it. We live in the world which is everything except for what we convince ourselves it is. People in our lives can have ‘masks’ and so does this world, which is consisted of people with ‘masks’, have it’s own.

I believed, my friend, that the real love exists, that the freedom has the one who is capable of catching it, but as the time went by, and as I was growing up and got to know life, I realised that it is far away from the truth. I have thought of heaven sometimes, but not so often because why would youth think about death? But, I believed that it does exist and I do believe now, because what are we left do after we find out the truth and the cruelity of life, except to have faith and hope? I live with hope that it will get better, if not for the time of this life we know, then for the time of the other one, when and if we go to that Heaven everyone’s talking about. You once told me, my dear, that we’ll have strenght and will for living as long as we believe. But what happens after our faith turns into the fear of what’s awaiting for us? Into the fear which starts to choke us, steals in in our lungs, throats and noses, slowly and swiftly, just like a gas, and when instead every new breath we take, hoping that we will breathe in the fresh air of freedom, we draw in again the deadly fear. My friend, you once told me that freedom does not leave the free spirit, but it abonded me. I can not recall back when I first became the prisoner and the slave, and even worse, who’s slave I have become. Society’s or even my own? I have started to fulfill excpectations of society long ago, to live life of the deaf and the blind majority, the stupid majority which sourounds and disgusts me. Who sets the norms and rules by which I live now? Them or I myself? Maybe I have sourended long time ago and accepted everything from them, become the part of them, just like the Albatros which sailors haunted down in the poem you had once read to me, do you remember? Do you remember all the loves you had? Do you remember me? What is love, I have forgotten. I see the people around me, lovers and the alone ones. I know what it is, but I have fortgotten already. What is this that we have? We started off as aquantancies, later friends and now I don’t know what are we. If I asked this world around me it would respond me with something I could not understand. I trust you, repsect you, have faith in you, I might even love you, tell me then, what is that? And tell me what is the freedom which is being taken away from us, right to think, having attitudes and knowledge of the real truth? And tell me, I beg of you, what is Heaven and what awaits for us, made of substances, after the Judgment day?

I am writing this letter to you, my dear, because you have always been able to give the answer to my every question, I write this letter to you as a sign that I still haven’t lost faith and hope, and as a sign that one day I’ll breath in deeply and cheer ‘Freedom!’

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Rainy Day

I welcomed yet another day. I got up later than I intended to, but I won’t let that bother me, I enjoyed the comfort of my cozy bed. The first thing that came on my mind was, of course, what should I wear, and I decided to go for my new hoody and one of my favorite combinations, even if I’m not planning on going out soon. I feel melancholy spilling and spreading all around me but I am not fighting against it, I am trying to enjoy it and to suppress every pressure and obligation I have, today I am doing everything slowly and relaxing.

My sister and have been doing housework and she found some old bracelets, necklaces and sweet little messages for each member of the family I had made. Bracelets are made out of plastic stripes, different colors, and the necklaces is made out of plasticine. She asked me if I want to throw them away and as I took them in my hand I decided that I am going to wear them. The bracelet is already tied around my wrist and since the necklaces is made of quite strange shape I will consider it how and if I’m going to wear it. Either way, it reminds me of my childhood and creativity, something I never want to lose and I want to keep as much of it as I can.

I absolutely love the light that brings the rainy weather, the way coffee has more special taste and enjoyment, the way the writing has its own meaning. I am waiting impatiently autumn every year and it’s finally here. Here’s a wonderful song to listen to

Beauty

Beauty is something the whole world is obsessed with. People usually don’t understand that beauty isn’t perfection and that nothing is perfect. All the norms and rules, principles and molds which have been set up for us are slowly starting to pull us down, deep into the water of impossible goals and we are suffocating. Everyone is trying to look like a model, to be as close to ”perfection” as possible and it is very burdensome. I have written already about perfect teenagers and youth, and said that youth and teenage kids are beautiful just the way they are, with all their flaws, because youth is beautiful. Kids are checking each other out all the time. It’s bloody important what you are wearing, how you’re wearing it, does anyone else has the same thing as you do etc and so do people in general, that never changes. Many are often insecure about their looks and therefore never dare to try anything when it comes to someone they like, or fitting into the society, that passes on to success at work, to every single thing, and they often are not aware of that or simply don’t want to admit it. Looks plays a big role in our lives, and with the understandings of the modern society that is the only measure of beauty and it is unreachable.

That pulls a lot of strings, starting with the style of life we’re living. The cosmetics and textill industry are giving us new products all the time saying how we absolutely can’t live without them. How are you going to wash your make up off if you don’t have 5 different products from two different brands, or how are you going to apply it if you don’t have the base for every single little thing, from powder to mascara. You go into the store and you see over 20 different brands with all kinds of quality and prices. You see 50 different types of products you should buy and when you look into your wallet you know you can’t afford it. Then, you turn youtube tutorials on and realise that you can’t have half of the things they are using because it’s limited edition, it’s professional equipment or you just can’t have it. The main goal of the industry is you wanting to buy more and more products, more frequent and to think that you really can’t go without them. Lately I’ve noticed that a lot of so-called prestigious brands are degrading their quality. Few years ago you would buy a sweather which you can weare 5 years later and today it can’t last a season. Today the key word is more and the trick is short-lasting.

Now enough with the conspierecy theories, the biggest pity that today’s society makes is the ill understandings of beauty. We are all closing our eyes and act uninterested in front of true and important beauty-the one that’s inside. I know it’s a cliche but let’s face it, it is true. When you look at a person you see him/her on the outside, you his/her face, body and clothes, but you don’t see the person. When you think of that person you say his/her name, and what stands under that? It’s not only the face and clothes, it stands the person with his/her personality and attitudes, principles etc.

If someone approaches you and starts flirting the first thing you’ll notice is the looks and then the very apperiance of the person as well. And if you don’t like that person at the frist sight you’ll probably put up a blockade for your future conversations with the person and there will be no possabilities of you two getting together. On the other hand, if you meet a person with no love intentions at first, you just might fall in love with his/her personality and everything that makes that person and as the time goes by you’ll see all the lovely things in the person’s apperiance. We rarely give people opportunity and tend to judge them, and that’s normal. Better be prepared for what might come then go through a disappointment. But, we should see and look for all the beautiful things in every person who sourands us, in every painting which holds the story behind it’s colors, in every song without words and every shy written word. We should see the real beauty of this world and give it a chance, sometimes things don’t go as quick as we wanted or excpected them to go, but the time works for itself, and we should let it do it’s job. We should keep the people who can see us and our beauty in our lives and those who don’t we should let search for some other kind.

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Autumn

Past few days have been really autumn-ish with rain and beautiful colors. Green light and dark, orange, red, yellow, brown, grey trees and parks, white, clods and fog, bridge disappearing and hiding in the clouds which are doing their light dance above the city, sending us rainy greetings. Wind, hot liquids to keep us worm, music, umbrellas and cozy sweaters.

Melancholy is slowly taking over and so does the feeling of thankfulness for being right where you are.

Watching the birds flying free
Watching the clouds walk
And watching the rain become the sea – Tom Odell

 

 

Autumn in Holland autumn_rain_in_the_park_xi_by_pandi1818-d4fqbin

 

Disclaimer: all pictures in this post are found on google.

Shadow Friend

<a href=”http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/imaginary-friend/”>Imaginary Friend</a>

Everyone has a friend who’s following them around. Usually he acts like a shadow and it is a part of us who we refuse to acknowledge. Imaginary friend sometimes tells us things we want to hear and sometimes is here to torture us, someone who’s walking a long with us but sometimes pushes us into the hole. Imaginary friend is a part of us who we need to look at the face and deal with, or ask for help. Imaginary friend usually likes to whisper, and when he whispers you can never know will it be the sweetest nothing or the deadliest poison. Friend from the shadow l is there to support us and he usually doesn’t care for the consequences. All in all he’s always there and we can’t escape him, he always has the awaken eye of the guardian, quite often full of curiosity. Someone has one, someone has many of them, someone says that he’s alone while someone believes that his shadow is always there. Everybody has their own friend who is keeping them safe or putting them into danger and that little friend can have mind and will of his own.

Shadow friend never left my side and still is the biggest jokester.

 

The featured image is found on google.

Transitioning period

Everybody has that period in their lives when they’re trying to figure some things out. It’s usually something major in our lives, whether it is a big decision or a change we want to make, we tend to do the same thing-we retreat and try to spend more time alone, thinking about our life. I am in such period at the moment and the trip I went to surely had some impact on it. I am thinking about things and changing them subconsciously for quite a while already, and now I have to think everything through. Everybody needs to be in touch with themselves. I want to just sit on my sofa with my legs stretched to the armchair, drink some nice drink from my brand new Starbucks thermos, listen to some music or just enjoy the silence and figure things out.

Fortunately, I realised one thing. If a man wants to be successful he needs to do what he enjoys. Of course, we are sometimes obligated to do things we don’t feel like doing at the moment but perhaps we should leave it for later. Last year I worked really hard, I had to finish all of my obligations on time and I wasn’t giving myself a brake. I had never had time for the things I really wanted and should do, and as I pushed myself harder anxieties and pressure started rising. This year I decided to change that. I have so many interests, starting sports, over music, DJing, rapping, beatboxing to painting, writing etc, and I don’t want to leave them just as a unrealised thought and a wish, just as something unreachable because of the work I have to do. And since I started spending my free time doing things I really wanted to do, I feel much better and even the worries and the anxieties are not as strong as they were. But we certainly must not let ourselves relax that much when we reach the point  of completely abandoning things we should do, and let our success and career suffer. It is okay sometimes to lift off the burden and enjoy little things because that’s the way we are growing and developing ourselves, as long as we are not going extreme.

Trip

I am on the rode, again. One of my favoruite things is traveling. Every bus for me is small but I love riding and being on the rode so I can take more than 10hours of traveling without a problem.
While we’re on the road we pass various different landscapes and weather changes. We have a few stages during the ride to the final destination. At first we are excited and everything seems interesting, as the time passes we get tired and sleepy so we doze off and after the nap we are usually bored and anticipating the end of the, how it seems, never-ending ride.
When the bus starts it’s engine the excitment is at it’s highest and the pre-traveling anxiety starts to vanish. At the beginning you are souranded by city landscape, saying goodbye. to the familiar streets and dreaming of the new pictures and memories you are going to make when you get there. Slowly the landscape starts to change and the once city sourandings switch places with countryside-like. The sunny weather that we have left in our hometown turns into the gloomy and cold one, even slightly rainy. The sun is visible but only through the clowds and fog and it has the look of a white, small, simple button. And as the landscapes and tge weather on our trip are changing so do things in our life. At the end, when we get to our final destination, our goal, sunny weather and good times are awaiting for us.

Tour de Worst Cyclists in the World

this made me laugh so hard!

the importance of being serbian

Here I go making yet another bombshell of a statement that is sure to offend and alienate the nitpickers among you.

Serbian bicycle riders are the worst in the world.

In case you should demand some kind of material proof or desire to go on a fact-checking mission, I suggest you visit any Serbian city, town, village, or backyard. There isn’t a single rust-free bike in this country and, I suspect, the same could be said about the rest of our lovely peninsula. Sorry, Croatians, I know you’re in the EU now, but your “vozni park” fails to impress me.

My family has a long and proud history of crap bikes. I grew up riding the iconic Poni, which all Serbian children learned to ride during the last few decades of the 20th century. The Poni was domestically made and, therefore, cheap. But, it wasn’t cheaply-made. Unlike the Chinese-made bikes…

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