find the silver lining in every event…

JUMP FOR JOY! Photo Project

“We must assume every event has significance and contains a message that pertains to our questions…this especially applies to what we used to call bad things…the challenge is to find the silver lining in every event, no matter how negative.” – James Redfield

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Storm

I stepped out of the trolley, cold air and wind greeting me. The night has finally come and the storm is approaching. The station is really spacious and everything seems so big, open boulevard. I looked up at the park and sky. Sky is slightly orangish, like there is fire somewhere, behind the park. Massive, stormy clouds are floating close to the city. Everybody wants to rule the world was playing by Lorde and as the chorus started, lightning appeared on the stormy sky, wind is blowing and it’s getting colder minute after minute. As I was walking I was looking at the sky, captivated by it’s color and clouds, how dark trees had their silhouettes making contrast to it. I took my phone out and shared it with a friend. It’s such a powerful feeling! I thought I could sit outside the whole night, just looking at the sky, feeling the cold wind caressing my face.

As I walked in the house it was pitch dark. I turned on the lights and the moment I did it I heard a lard thud just to realize second later that it is only a start for the chorus. I threw my bag and as I looked in my room I saw the bridge and the city, sky turned shining white for a moment, and then I heard the thunder. I turned only one light in my home and turned on the laptop. Soon, I found myself standing on the terrace. Lightnings were spread all around the sky, turning it’s white light on and off every now and then. Rain started with big raindrops, one of them falling on my face. I opened the window wide and watched the Mordor skies hoovering over my city. Color of fire painted the sky, like the ground beneath it was burning and it did, the city is alive, filled with lights, life, parties, cars, people and their destinies. Cold air greeted me again and cold, big raindrops fell all over my face. The bridge was rising up, and above the city, threatening the sky, it’s glowing, sharp white light emphasizing it’s figure on the dark background of living city filled with black and orange color, and foggy, orange sky. I breaded in the fresh air, the smell of rain overtaking all of my senses. My ears were filled with the sound of the downpour and the song. As the song finished I closed the windows, streets were already soaking wet and skies were still wild, I wasn’t alone anymore. The Doors started playing soon and I decided to make myself a coffee to sip while eating a pancake.

 

There’s a killer on a road

The sun starts to set down, but there isn’t much change as it is cloudy all day. A man sits in his car and drive, where the road leads him. He sees children playing beside the road, they are laughing and they are happy even though it started to rain, they don’t bother. There’s a black silhouette of a man and a surprising thunder. He snaps out of his cloudy and blurry vision, there’s nobody beside the road, only empty fields. He continues to drive, like nothing has happened, like he hasn’t seen anything. After a while he gets to a restaurant, finishes his dinner with his companion. He helps her to put on her coat and they leave the restaurant. Her heels making the familiar sound as she walks. They get into the light blue-gray Cadillac and he starts the engine up. As they get out on the road thunder hits again. Across them, they see a gray car and a black silhouette of a man. The moment later the car and the man disappeared. The girl starts to tighten her black coat around her as they are both shivering in cold. The road is empty. Two tracks but only one car in one direction. The blue line in the middle of it is hard to see, fog is all around them.

riders on the storm

A thunder is heard, they snap out of their slow and deep thinking and shivering. A car is showing out in the fog, it’s the same grey car with the same black silhouette, and it’s driving towards them. The killer on the road is here and his car isn’t avoiding the crash. The moment before the crash they hear the thunder and as they open their eyes they see a car with a black silhouette of a man showing in fog, again. A shot is heard along with the thunder ”there’s a killer on the road”.

storm Vehicles-Old-Cars

Night Coffee and Writing

I was chatting when I realized that I need a coffee. I went to the kitchen and made myself the best coffee I can drink around here. Yes, I can proudly say that I am one of the best coffee makers. It’s a fresh summer night and it’s perfect for star gazing and staring at the distance from your window.

I love writing and I consider myself a writer. Since I know for myself I’m in the world of books. I started writing a few years ago. As a kid I didn’t understand writing essays in school and those classic stories all the girls had been writing. At firs my mom would read me a bedtime story every night, and as I was growing up I started reading, every night before I dozed off. Later on I started writing myself and realized that I have a unique style. I knew how to paint a picture with words and that was something I adored doing and was really proud of. Unfortunately, from all the obligations I had and have I lost it, and now I can hardly paint a picture with words. I would really like to have that skill back. It’s because we are put into a mold by the society and it’s demands. You don’t have the freedom to write all of the details you see or what you feel, and later on you become blind and mute for it. Anyhow, I still have my own spark, thoughts and style. Somehow, I always get my masterpiece out of my pinkie when needed in no time. I will try to get my brush and colors back so I can paint again. Another glamour of my possibility to paint a picture with just words is that I am a painter in real life, with real brushes and real colors. So, if I see something, I describe it and eventually I paint it. One thing which I noticed beside describing what I see and writing my thoughts is that I am probably better at writing short stories and observations instead of novels. I have an idea, I have everything prepared but when I read it I dislike it so much that I just can’t make myself reading it again. It’s like when you have a marvelous idea for a dish and you make it, it looks wonderful, but when you taste it you can’t make yourself to take another bite. I had a bad-writer period for a long time and I can compare it to a man who hasn’t gone out of the bed for months and now he is slowly trying to take insecure steps and slow, short walks. I am recovering from it though, so I hope that I will get out of it soon.

Street lights are trembling in distance. Blue train of lights is quickly disappearing on the bridge while I am impatiently waiting for another one, every day wondering which color will it be tonight. The trees of the park are making dark silhouettes and are strong contrast to the bright bridge, it’s silhouette never fails to emphasize. It’s quite late and past midnight so the other side of the river isn’t shining as much because most of the lights in people’s houses are turned off. Everyone’s sleeping. There are a few street lamps which are illuminating the parking lot. When I look through the window or generally look at a bigger picture I tend to separate it on smaller fragments and observe each very carefully. Every corner or a certain spot on a given picture reminds me of something different and special. Whether it is a rainy day or a cafe I’m imagining, high school days, snowy nights, a vacation at some exotic place or simply a summer night just as it is, I get all kinds of imagines and feelings, ideas and memories. I am going to try and paint with my words soon again and I hope that the paint hasn’t dried yet.

Silence

I have finally found my silence. Silence goes along with peace. I can easily find it, anywhere. I can find it just by looking at a tree or a happy child swinging, but lately it’s a bit harder because I don’t have the time to just stop for a second and catch it. However, there is one place where I can find my silence whenever I want to. I’ve already written about it, it’s one of my favorite places. As I climbed the stares in the hallway I stopped and looked around myself. The song that was playing has finished and I stopped music on my phone. I was alone in the hallway and all you could hear and feel is peace and silence, warm feeling taking over me. I caught it! When I entered the house, I looked around, paced back and forth and slowly turned the computer on, played some songs. I’ll find my patience as well, so I could just sit and look through the window or at one point on the wall. Everything seems smaller now, I guess I really grew up. I remember when I pretended to have a real motorbike on the terrace while I was playing with my new, red bicycle. I remember imagining my room to be a spaceship, buttons and drawings sticked and hung all around it. I remember that rainy day when my aunt came for lunch and we talked as the rain was constantly pouring outside; I even remember what we ate. I remember so many mornings on the terrace with sunlight illuminating only half of it. A friend last night helped me to find a way to my silence and I am very grateful for that. So, today I naturally started writing.

Today I was preserving a man making and packing my burger for a go. His movements are quick and trained; you can see that he is doing that all the time. How easy and quickly he was doing that surprised me, while I was dropping money on the floor and had a hard time hearing the question he asked. I think that we need to seriously slow down, take a moment and preserve things around us, see details and enjoy the moment, music, silence, rain and sun. Find your peace and catch it, be grateful on what you have and cherish it.

The song has finished and I’m left with silence again, I’ll let it take me in and hold me in it’s arms. I’ll always remember the rainy days and blue skies with white clouds floating here and there behind my roof windows.

silence (1) roof both of these two pictures are not mine, I found them on google.

 

The Hobbit

I am so excited for the official trailer and even more for the movie to come out! I am an absolute dork for The Hobbit and LOTR. I really wonder how will the third part turn out because there isn’t much left to happen. I even said a few times that they shouldn’t make a trilogy out of only one book but I will wait for the third movie to come out. Yesterday I said to a friend that the third part isn’t just an episode of The Hobbit series even though I have a feeling that they are assuming that it is just a money making episode, it should be a movie for itself. Yes, it does relies on the previous two, but it’s at the same time movie for itself and it has mostly the battle in it. Again, I am not going to make any premature judgments. I absolutely adore The Hobbit and LOTR, I even read the book so I am expecting nothing less but to be blown off and hooked on the movie. Enjoy the teaser!

Rain, Thunders and Melancholy

 

It’s pouring rain outside, it’s been a few days like this. I love rain, though. Thunders at night splitting skies, waking people up, thunders in the middle of the day and pouring rain. There’s no sunlight today. Owl City Sailboats is playing and the only sound I hear beside the song is cars racing down the wet street and thunders here and there. The song has finished and I’m left with silence and storm. There is nothing I love more than smell of rain.

Today my phone fell two times and it split on pieces. When I put it together again and in my pocket I forgot to lock it so the radio somehow started playing on and when I took my headphones in I thought to myself  ‘oh look, I haven’t turned my music off’ and a song I like started playing. It’s when the guy started talking on the radio that I realised that it’s radio playing so I mentally facepalmed myself. After sometime I accidentally hit play on some of the songs on my phone and hit shuffle. Forget Her by Jeff Buckley started playing and as soon as I heard the song I became slightly sad. Now I don’t want to get out of the house and I think it’s about time to spend most of my day inside. I am finally going to turn to myself a bit. It’s time for writing, reading, making comics and cartoons. I want to be alone and walk in rain but at the same time I don’t want to move. Then you see a friend who says is always there for you but who don’t care actually at all, while someone with whom you’re not friends so long tries so hard to listen to you and cheer you up. Should that bring you down? I don’t think so. Anyway, melancholy is strong today and you are aware of how short life is and how ungrateful we are. Gonna go and turn to myself today, sometimes that’s all we need-silence, being quiet and doing something we love.

Enjoy it:)

Modern Life

So, I log in, press ‘all posts’ and see that I have three post in drafts. I have everything, words should be just flowing. I have my mug and coffee, music, everything I need, but I just can’t seem to start writing. I was away for a while but even when I came back I just didn’t have the inspiration to write, even though I have what to write about. What does stops us from writing? Living fast and not finding time to do so, lack of inspiration, maybe boredom? If you ask me all of those things and sometimes if I’m not ”in touch” with myself. These days I just can’t put my thoughts in words. I think that we live way too fast and that we are quite bored and with lack of concentration when we don’t have 1000 information getting to us, images changing fast, people talking all around us, so many new stories and activities during the day. We get out of the house and as soon as we put keys in our bag we are clicking the tiny icon which leads us to a social network. We are chatting with five people at the same time who are miles and miles away and when we meet someone the situation doesn’t change. All around us are commercials, all kinds of different images filled with colors and animations, just to catch our attention. Why kids can’t pay attention in school and can’t learn the same things the same way as their parents could? Because we are constantly being bombarded with all sorts of information, in our minds everything is happening fast and we can’t put the same amount of unimportant information as people could before. Everything is on the phone, only one click away. When you enter a shopping mall what do you see? Tons of advertisements, headlines and promotions, everything’s yelling ‘buy, buy, buy! Look at this magnificent dress and it’s on sale! Usually only three things in a store are on sale under 15%, but we see the sale sign and we simply have to buy it. And just when you think you’re finished with shopping you come to the cash register and buy sunglasses or an accessories. We are constantly getting new information even though we are not aware of it. Your brain doesn’t inform you about reading something, you ran over it with your eyes and you didn’t actually read it but it still stores somewhere, deep in your mind. We always need more and we need it fast. People these days don’t have patience for anything, not even to wait for their meal in restaurants or for a man to cross a street. No matter how hard it may be, we should sit down and listen to ourselves, try to do something which requires time and patience and connect out mind with our soul again.